Dear Mr. Jarvis,We apologize for our extended absence. Global recession, fading of print media, a "what the hell am I doing with my life" period - you get the point. Here's some snippets of what you missed in Jan. and Feb.:
-McDonalds is considering rolling out a dollar breakfast menu. Even with the smaller portions though, experts agree, the healthier choice is still just to eat the dollar.
-A Florida baby missing for 5 days was found alive under a bed. You can imagine the mother’s surprise when for the last five days she found she was breast feeding the cat.
-The Yankees had their victory parade on Friday. They had considered holding it on a Saturday but with the unemployment rate at 10% city officials expect a big turnout. (100% of city's 10% unemployed)
- The University of Iowa medical center says a cat contracted the H1N1 virus. Which means that not only is the virus jumping from species to species but right now 45 million Americans have less health insurance than a cat in Iowa.
-A stolen VW Bus turned up at the port of LA, 35 years after being reported stolen. Discovered by four teens and their dog Scooby, the old man in the car screamed, “And I would’ve gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids!”
-A&E network unveiled the Jackson TV show. It’s a show about Michael Jackson’s four less talented brothers called “Is This It?”
-Steven Tyler has reportedly left Aerosmith although his lips have agreed to stay on with the band.
-The creators of “Got Milk?” have launched the “Raise your hand for chocolate milk” campaign. Most kids couldn’t so they launched the “Raise an eyebrow, twitch a muscle, or show us you can still move for chocolate milk campaign.”
-Sen. Robert C. Byrd has become the longest serving congress member. Despite being wheel chair bound and in ill health West Virginians continue to re-elect him. When an out-of-state reporter asked how he felt he replied, “Do the right thing. Kill me now!”
