An ode to fast food (and writers block)

Dear Mr. Jarvis:

Welcome to the diarrhea song of the month club. Here is your first installment:

Diarrhea, uh, uh, diarrhea, uh, uh!

When you try to squeeze one out while your date bites her cookie, 

but your pants start barkin like your smuggling a Wookie (insert Chewbacca noise).

Diarrhea, uh, uh, diarrhea, uh, uh!