As a member of the Republican Senator Lynn Westmoreland fanclub, I thought I'd share the most recent letter I received.
Dear Fanclub,
It’s all over the liberal news so you’ve probably heard by now, yes, it’s true, I called Barrack Obama “uppity.” Now, I told the liberal press that I didn’t know the word was offensive but y’all know I knew. What can I say, I’m from Georgia. Being from Georgia and not being racist is like being half black and not being an unholy muslim. It just don’t make no sense.
Now, the leftist conspiracy mill has of recent run amuck with rumors of me and a certain gentleman locking ourselves into the local Blue Oyster bar’s bathroom. Let me put this cow to pasture once and for all. Truth be told here, I have to say that since the democraps stold congress, well, my pay just ain’t what it used to be. As many of you already know, I was not always just a hardworking lawmaker. No, my patriotism extends from the halls of congress all the way to your septic tank. I do a little side plumbing from time to time and on this particular occasion, my assistant, Sven and I, were knee deep in it ya’ll. That’s also accounting for why Sven was wearing his red sequined speedos. The man loves his work and ain’t afraid to get deep into it. God bless him! So you see, simple and innocent. Did I mention my middle name ain’t Hussein.
God Bless America, the great state of Georgia, and anybody who doesn’t vote for that Uppity Obama boy.
Sincerely,
Senator Lynn Westmoreland
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