A letter from the city

Hey you,

I couldn’t help but notice you’re still here. Gotta admit, I’m a bit surprised. I mean, you came here thinking you were gonna conquer the comedy world and granted, you’ve made some gains but you’re not exactly exploding onto the scene, are you? At least you hit the ground crawling. 

Yeah, yeah, you’re determined. Heard it all before. I know, Sinatra, Seinfeld, all the greats came here and started just like you did. So did Bob Johnson, Andrew Cunningham, and Jeremy Stone. Who are they you ask? Doesn’t matter because they came here all starry eyed and ambitious and I kicked them in the nuts and sent them back crying, to their cushy hometown cubicle jobs. 

Now strap that saddle on your back, day-job-boy, and on five hours sleep a night make that indentured servants pay. Top it off with three over priced unhealthy meals a day and now you’re ready. Clear those bleary, sleep deprived eyes. You’ve got a show to do. That is, if you can sign up before the other hundred would be comics make it there first. 

Oh yes, I’ll let you chase your dream. Might even let you catch it, but you’re going to do it on my terms!

Yours truly,

Lady Liberty (aka. The Big Apple/New York)

News from the break-room

Dear Cory,

I noticed you haven’t been in the office for a few days and then somebody told me you were sick. Since we haven’t haven’t had a chance during your 30 minute- I mean 15 minute (wink, wink) break, I thought I’d catch you up on some of the juicier details. 

- Pat slept with Sue which angered Mike, made Shelly happy, had Eric crying, and caused Bob to raise an eyebrow.

- Sue accidently ate Mikes peach, which frustrated Eric, caused Shelly to laugh, made Pat moan, and caused Bob to scratch his head.

- John (New Guy) got Shelly’s phone number which made Eric upset, helped Mike relax, made Sue jealous, and caused Bob to quit.

- Oh, and I guess your company is downsizing and management is looking at who to cut (don’t be sick too long). 

Other than that, every thing’s fine.

Long live the Xerox repair man! For without him, there can be no copies.

Bob (The Xerox Guy)