Dear Mr. Cory Jarvis,Here is your weekly Global News update.
-A sweeping school lunch bill cleared the senate panel. The committee members stated that unlike cafeteria pizza, this bill will pass through us.
-More couples are putting off divorce until the economy turns around. Wives say their investment got nothing but limp returns, while husbands say the market’s a real bitch.
-The Democrats passed sweeping health legislation. The Republicans have vowed that, come November elections, Democrats will regret making voters so healthy.
-Lindsay Lohan recently fell on a cactus. At first she was angry and wanted to tear it out, but then she changed her mind, felt bad for it when she was heard it hadn’t had a drink in weeks.
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