Saturday, June 20, 2009

E3 Gaming Convention

Dear Wii fan,

Nintendo has heard your cries for more mature, realistic games and we have listened! Here are just a few from our exciting new fall line up:

Ender’s Game Iraq

Soar over the skies of Baghdad controlling an unmanned predator drone. Looks so realistic but don’t worry, it’s not; we made our quota this month. Use the ultra sophisticated camera to zoom in on the ground below - Hey! What’s that guy doing with a goat? Post the video on YouTube to reduce virtual troop stress levels. 

Super Mario Plumbing

The Princess needs help! No, she hasn’t been kidnapped, but she has dropped too many kids off at the pool. Ready for Donkey Kong? It turns out he doesn’t just eat bananas. Better hurry, Toad had Indian food last night. Plunge your way to the end and face off with King Koopa Supa Poopa.

Rush Limbaugh’s Abu Ghraib-and-Go

Voiced by the freedom loving man himself, play as a high ranking official at Abu Ghraib prison. Get in touch with your inner Republican as you order troops to torture, and when the media catches wind, find a way to blame it on everyone but you and your civilian superiors. 

Long live Nintendo and it’s panel of gay console namers!

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,

Nintentendo

1 comment:

Scott said...

I own a Wii but the only games I buy are Mario Bros., Mario Kart, Metroids, and Zeldas. The majority of the games blow. Nintendo gave gamers more of the same overabundance of casual titles, with Metroid and Super Mario Wii being the only titles to look forward to, and those aren't due until late next year. The only game I've bought in 2009 for my Wii is Punchout and it's great but what am I supposed to do until late 2010? That's right I'll fire up my PS 3 or 360 and play some good games.