Dear Mr. Jarvis,
Here is your monthly newsletter from the US Office of Accountability.
What 3,900 prisoners who were accidentally sent stimulus checks are buying:
- 3900 copies of The Shawshank Redemption
- 500 harmonicas and 3400 sets of earplugs
- 3500 soap on a ropes and 400 posters of Lance Bass
- Snuggies and fuzzy handcuffs
- A copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People with a Homemade Shiv”
- A Karaoke machine playing only Johnny Cash songs
- Combination Locked Underwear
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